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Take an argensimian, soft its insides by roundhouse kicking him into the concrete. Then put him gently in a wok. Stir fry him until its skin gets a nice dark brown shade. There's no need to use butter or oil, in fact the argensimian is already fat and greasy enough. At this point you can spanishe it by defecating and urinating on him. Finally, launch him into the sun.
Chud6: @Chud: They are brown and dark enough already, they basicly look like breed of monkeys (hammer monkeys, drill monkeys to death) and noons (burn noons, drown noons) how do i know that he is done fryin?
Chud12(1): @Chud: Good question: the stir frying will make the argensimian skin more fair than it actually was. So you'll have a coalish, really black, raw argensimian getting more brownish. Also, the smell of raisin that argensimians naturally have will get at least 10 times stronger.
You WILL die like macaque in that microwave video