12/21/25 - Questions, complaints, or suggestions? Send them to soysneed@soyjak.st or mustard@soyjak.st or post in the complaint thread or something
12/20/25 - We wish you a happy non-denominational winter festivity, we wish you a happy non-denominational winter festivity, and a fauci eurocentric calendar new year 🎆
HERE'S THE STORY OF THE FAT AUTISTIC noon NAMED JIMBO
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On September 11, 2001, a fat gypsy trans womxn forced a cat to fuck xer disgusting rotting axewound. Only five months later, Jimbo Mopupu Shekelberg was born.
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Unfortunately, xe was not wanted by xis trxns womxn mother, and was dropped into a toilet and flushed. Thankfully, the roaches and wasps took care of Jimbo.
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They fed him the crumbly trimmings of Arab fatbergs, and at the age of 8, xe came up to the surface for the first time. Xe immediately acquired a porn addiction and gooned every single chance xe got.
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At the age of 23, xe found out about the soysphere, and fell in love with it immediately. Xe then forced xis ugly personslop 24/7 and leaked on every single post.
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And here xe is today, being an OBSESSED flamboyant person!
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kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself kiss yourself
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YOU WILL NEVER BE A REAL SOYBOORU USER. YOU HAVE NO FUNNY OR INTERESTING QUALITIES, YOU HAVE NO TALENTS, YOU ARE A CRUDE MOCKERY OF A GOOD NAMEflamboyant person. YOU SPEND YOUR WHOLE DAY SPAMMING AND SAMEflamboyant personGING WITH YOUR DISORD XISTERS OVER ONE SINGULAR NAMEflamboyant person. YOUR EXTREME OBSESSION REVEALS YOUR INNER INSECURITIES. YOU PROJECT YOUR PORN ADDICTION ONTO EVERY PERSON ON THIS SITE. NOBODY LIKES YOUR OBNOXIOUS SPAM. IN THE REAL WORLD, YOUR HOUSE IS CRUMBLING UNDER YOUR WEIGHT. THE STICKS, CORRUGATED STEEL, AND COW DUNG THAT YOUR HOME IS CRUDELY COMPRISED OF IS DECOMPOSING AND CRACKING BY THE WEIGHT OF YOUR FAT VANTABLACK BODY. YOUR MOTHER LOOKS AWAY AND CRIES WHEN SHE SEES YOUR GREASY PIMPLE-RIDDEN FACE. YOU TRY TO CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT YOUR FAVORITE ugly personSLOP VIDEO GAME IS "gemmy", WHEN YOU KNOW THAT IT IS PURE noonSLUDGE. YOUR ENTIRE VILLAGE WORKS WITH ALL THEIR MIGHT, JUST SO YOU CAN STUFF YOUR FAT FUCKING noonLIPS WITH GOYSLOP IMPORTED FROM ISRAEL. YOU IMMIGRATED FROM THE SCHLOG, A WEBSITE REPLETE WITH DISCORD INTERFERENCE. YOU ARE AN INSULT TO SOYBOORU ITSELF. YOU WILL NEVER BE A NAMEflamboyant person.
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