Yo, what’s up soybooru, it’s your boy GustavII back with another banger. Today, I’m gonna tell you all of the time my curiosity got the best of me, and changed my life forever…

On a fine day in Toronto, I was just on a drive when suddenly I saw a restaurant called “♠️BIBISIBURGER<\/strong>♠️”. Given that I live on Toronto, the lineup was obviously fucking massive since 1. every new and well-rated restaurant has a lineup only rivalled by a line of Amerimutts waiting to get into the newest McDonald’s, and 2. this ZOGGED city is a S4BBC. I wasn’t gonna wait in some long ass line today since I had better shit to do, but I made plans to give the restaurant a try in the following days, for comedic value, if nothing else.

2 days later I came back to the restaurant, and because I didn’t have better shit to do, I decided to wait in line for a little bit before I entered the restaurant. I was handed a menu with the text “:spade:<\/span> SLUTTY SNOWBUNNY SERVES<\/strong> :spade:<\/span>“, and I decided to order the Big Black Deluxe with a side of these chips they had known as “Kenya Krisps”. The burger itself was so underwhelming that I almost ♠️BLACKED<\/strong>♠️ out, but the Kenya Krisps were pretty alright. The food isn’t what I’m here to record though, it’s what came with it. As my big black servant was delivering the food to me, it seems that the chefs had placed a small package on the tray, which peaked my interest.

When I got home I decided to open the package up, and I was shocked. In the package was a rolled up note with two substances which I can only assume were Blood and Basotho Cum respectively. On the top was text saying “HOW TO SUMMON THE ♠️BIBISOLDIER<\/strong>♠️ THAT WILL SAVE AFRIKA”, and below it were a set of instructions on how to summon this peculiar entity. My gut was desperately telling me to discard the note and not follow its instructions, but I simply could not resist the temptation to follow with these instructions and summon this peculiar ♠️BIBISOLDIER<\/strong>♠️ that they speak of.

After a long search, I had garnered the six materials outlined by the instructions — Black Cum (garnered from my big black servant), a Pan-African Flag, a set of spade stickers, a black dildo (borrowed from Olgol), the sacred spadeson mask, and some Basotho-scented candles. I placed down the a ritual spade mat, on which I first placed the Pan-African Flag, on top of that, the black dildo, on all four corners of the spade mat, the spade stickers, on top of the black dildo, the sacred spadeson mask, and around the spade mat, the Basotho-scented candles. I completed the ritual by pouring the black cum on all five other objects, before suddenly, they all began to fuse together, and opened up what seemed like a portal.

The portal grew larger and larger, before suddenly, it blew up, and I ♠️BLACKED<\/strong>♠️ out. As I awoke, I saw this fabled ♠️BIBISOLDIER<\/strong>♠️. It was a large buff white man with the face of the sacred spadeson mask, and strewn across every single part of its body were incredibly intricate spade tattoos. I looked on in shock and horror for a few seconds before it finally opened its mouth and said; “I am <\/em>:spade:<\/span>SUPERSPADE<\/strong><\/em>:spade:<\/span>, tell me, snowbunny, what do you summon me for?”.<\/em> I tried to explain to this “Superspade” that I had just summoned it for fun, but it wasn’t having that shit. The Afrikakorps Supersoldier charged forth at me and pinned me against a wall, before I barely managed to jab it in the eyes with my fingers and make a run for it. I vaulted the fuck out of my house through the front door, but Superspade followed suit and brutally chased me until I had been cornered into an alleyway. The horrifying ♠️BLACKEDBUNNY<\/strong>♠️ said in a deep and terrifying tone — “you’ve been one disobedient snowbunny. Now, allow me to summon my interdimensional <\/em>BVLL<\/strong><\/em> here to… sort you out. <\/em>:spade:<\/span>“.<\/em>

As all seemed over, the summoning of the BVLL<\/strong> had been stopped. As Superspade turned xis head and I looked onwards, I saw another large being much like Superspade, except for the fact that it was of an African skin tone and had incredibly complex heart tattoos all over its body as opposed to spades.

The S4BWC said “GET BACK, MASTA, I’LL SORT OUT THIS REBELLIOUS BIWISI SLUT FOR YOU! <\/em>:hearts:<\/span>“<\/em>, before the two beings screamed at each other and a world-shaking battle ensued. I watched on in absolute fucking awe as the two interracial porn addicts shook the world with every thunderous punch they made. After a long and arduous fight, Superspade fell to the ground and could barely even move. Its black superior (:spade:<\/span>) raised its hand, and from that hand came cascading a massive energy blast. When the smoke cleared, Superspade was no more, and the nearby ♠️BIBISIBURGER<\/strong>♠️ had been absolutely demolished.

The Heart-clad black man slowly drifted down to me and gave me a kiss on the forehead, before uttering the words “stay safe, massa, and remember, I will always be a S4BWC. <\/em>:hearts:<\/span>“<\/em> and disappearing.

Ever since then I’ve always been more careful around my big black servant, and I’ve made sure to avoid every BNWO-affiliated establishment I see (except for the city of Toronto itself).

Updoot for more banger brimstone creepypasta

Series

Subvariant

Variant

Uncategorized

Comments(20)