>You will never be a real lawyer. You have no law degree, you have no experience, you have no guy. You're a street scammer twisted by your ego and charisma into a crude mockery of the law’s perfection.<\/span>
>All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your clients are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “associates” laugh at your ridiculousness behind closed doors.<\/span>
>Elders are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even lawyers who “pass” seem uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your company structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a dementia-ridden old man to represent you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he finds out that you're just a chimp with a machine gun.<\/span>
>You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be okay, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.<\/span>
>Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a dust filter for a Hoover Max Extract® 60 Pressure Pro™, change your identity, and never be seen again. Kim Wexler will not find you, heartbroken but relieved that she no longer has to live with your unbearable shame and disappointment. You'll get a job with a nametag of your fake name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know as an uncharismatic loser who works at Cinnabon. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably un-lawyerlike.<\/span>
>This is your fate. This is what you chose. You'll always be Slippin' Jimmy. <\/span>

Media

Namefag

Variant

Uncategorized

Comments(14)