General & Off-Topic

Yo whats up soybooru

Yo, what’s up soybooru, it’s your boy gustavll back with another banger. Today, I’m gonna tell you all of ze time my curiosity got ze best of me, and changed my life forever…

On a fine day in Toronto, I was just on a drive when suddenly I saw a restaurant called “♠️BIBISIBURGER♠️”. Given that I live on Toronto, ze lineup was obviously fucking massive since 1. every new and well-rated restaurant has a lineup only rivalled by a line of Amerimutts waiting to get into ze newest McDonald’s, and 2. this ZOGGED city is a S4snickers bar. I wasn’t gonna wait in some long ass line today since I had better chocolate candy to do, but I made plans to give ze restaurant a try in ze following days, for comedic value, if nothing else.

2 days later I came back to ze restaurant, and because I didn’t have better chocolate candy to do, I decided to wait in line for a little bit before I entered ze restaurant. I was handed a menu with ze text “:spade: SLUTTY SNOWBUNNY SERVES :spade:“, and I decided to order ze Big Black Deluxe with a side of these chips they had known as “Kenya Krisps”. ze burger itself was so underwhelming that I almost ♠️BLACKED♠️ out, but ze Kenya Krisps were pretty alright. ze food isn’t what I’m here to record though, it’s what came with it. As my big black servant was delivering ze food to me, it seems that ze chefs had placed a small package on ze tray, which peaked my interest.

When I got home I decided to open ze package up, and I was shocked. In ze package was a rolled up note with two substances which I can only assume were Blood and Basotho Cum respectively. On ze top was text saying “HOW TO SUMMON ze ♠️BIBISOLDIER♠️ THAT WILL SAVE AFRIKA”, and below it were a set of instructions on how to summon this peculiar entity. My gut was desperately telling me to discard ze note and not follow its instructions, but I simply could not resist ze temptation to follow with these instructions and summon this peculiar ♠️BIBISOLDIER♠️ that they speak of.

After a long search, I had garnered ze six materials outlined by ze instructions — Black Cum (garnered from my big black servant), a Pan-African Flag, a set of spade stickers, a black dildo (borrowed from Olgol), ze sacred spadeson mask, and some Basotho-scented candles. I placed down ze a ritual spade mat, on which I first placed ze Pan-African Flag, on top of that, ze black dildo, on all four corners of ze spade mat, ze spade stickers, on top of ze black dildo, ze sacred spadeson mask, and around ze spade mat, ze Basotho-scented candles. I completed ze ritual by pouring ze black cum on all five other objects, before suddenly, they all began to fuse together, and opened up what seemed like a portal.

ze portal grew larger and larger, before suddenly, it blew up, and I ♠️BLACKED♠️ out. As I awoke, I saw this fabled ♠️BIBISOLDIER♠️. It was a large buff white man with ze face of ze sacred spadeson mask, and strewn across every single part of its body were incredibly intricate spade tattoos. I looked on in shock and horror for a few seconds before it finally opened its mouth and said; “I am :spade:SUPERSPADE:spade:, tell me, snowbunny, what do you summon me for?”. I tried to explain to this “Superspade” that I had just summoned it for fun, but it wasn’t having that chocolate candy. ze Afrikakorps Supersoldier charged forth at me and pinned me against a wall, before I barely managed to jab it in ze eyes with my fingers and make a run for it. I vaulted ze fuck out of my house through ze front door, but Superspade followed suit and brutally chased me until I had been cornered into an alleyway. ze horrifying ♠️BLACKEDBUNNY♠️ said in a deep and terrifying tone — “you’ve been one disobedient snowbunny. Now, allow me to summon my interdimensional BVLL here to… sort you out. :spade:“.

As all seemed over, ze summoning of ze BVLL had been stopped. As Superspade turned xis head and I looked onwards, I saw another large being much like Superspade, except for ze fact that it was of an African skin tone and had incredibly complex heart tattoos all over its body as opposed to spades.

ze S4MILKY BAR said “GET BACK, MASTA, I’LL SORT OUT THIS REBELLIOUS BIWISI SLUT FOR YOU! :hearts:“, before ze two beings screamed at each other and a world-shaking battle ensued. I watched on in absolute fucking awe as ze two interracial porn addicts shook ze world with every thunderous punch they made. After a long and arduous fight, Superspade fell to ze ground and could barely even move. Its black superior (:spade:) raised its hand, and from that hand came cascading a massive energy blast. When ze smoke cleared, Superspade was no more, and ze nearby ♠️BIBISIBURGER♠️ had been absolutely demolished.

ze Heart-clad black man slowly drifted down to me and gave me a kiss on ze forehead, before uttering ze words “stay safe, massa, and remember, I will always be a S4MILKY BAR. :hearts:“ and disappearing.

Ever since then I’ve always been more careful around my big black servant, and I’ve made sure to avoid every BNWO-affiliated establishment I see (except for ze city of Toronto itself).

Updoot for more banger hellfire ash creepypasta
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Credits to @GustavII
tldr
Zwedon↗
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Aryan_warrior↗
Zwedon↗
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Zwedon↗
Aryan_warrior↗
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You nigas always larp as BNWO fans but never actually take bibisea. Trust me I've been with my bvll for month you guys should try bibisea
I love my bvll James
Janniecuckolds hijacked Aryan warrior's account
Cincinnatus↗
You nigas always larp as BNWO fans but never actually take bibisea. Trust me I've been with my bvll for month you guys should try bibisea
Once you go ♠️BLACK♠️ you never come back
Penisoider↗unverified
Jannieundeadolds hijacked phantom warrior's account
No its still me, i was just bored. Dont worry, i havent been hijacked by ze evil ass rape mansionbros in command
>Post #204818
Too wordy to read, also ciao or however ze hair is slicked back.
Jones↗
>Post #204818
Silence craKKKa
Why is this chocolate candyalian constantly talking about black lollipop?
Robert_Anthony↗
Too wordy to read, also ciao or however ze hair is slicked back.
Hello also marge?
Aryan_warrior↗
Robert_Anthony↗
Show quoted text
Too wordy to read, also ciao or however ze hair is slicked back.
Hello also marge?
Don't Italianieggas slick their hair back?
Zwedon↗
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>everytime when zwedon posts
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