1 month ago#53591
This one has more detail and only 20 entries
Quote gave me this over fax
Here is the list:
>1. Purple Veiny Monster 12" (10cm girth) $89.99 - Glows in the dark and tastes like grape soda. Jimbo says it "melts into his intestines like warm butter."
>2. [redacted] $249.99 - So heavy it gives Jimbo hemorrhoids just looking at it. [REDACTED
>3. GlorpMaster 9000 (18" with suction cups) $199.99 - Allegedly "whispers eldritch secrets" when inserted past the 6-inch mark. Comes with free tube of "GlorpLube" which may or may not contain microplastics.
>4. Dollar Store Special (3" neon pink) $1.25 - Purchased during a "spiritual crisis." Now used exclusively for stirring his protein shakes.
>5. The Widowmaker (Custom steel 24" x 5" diameter) $599.99 - Requires notarized waiver. Last used on livestream before EMTs were called. Currently displayed in his living room like a fucking trophy.
>6. Squishy "Tentacle" Thing (???) Found in alley behind anime convention. Jimbo insists it's "alive" and "responds to praise." Fed exclusively on Mountain Dew Code Red.
>7. His Ex-Wife's Vibrator (Unremarkable) Stolen during divorce proceedings. Used exclusively for revenge masturbation while watching her LinkedIn profile.
>8. The Holy Grail (Platinum-plated 10") Auctioned by Sotheby's. Allegedly blessed by the Pope in 1987. Currently stuck in Jimbo forever after a "devotional mishap."
>9. Fleshlight Filled with Peanut Butter (Self-explanatory) Jimbo calls this "The Elvis Experience."
>10. ♠undefined♠ (Military-grade) Purchased from Darkweb. Came with instruction manual written in Russian. Jimbo woke up with unexplained ♠♠♠tattoos♠♠♠ after first use.
>11. "Woman" (Life-size silicone torso) $2,499.99 - Features "realistic wiggle physics" and built-in voicebox that just sobs quietly. Arrived in crate labeled "Fragile - Emotional Damage."
>12. Pool Noodle (Modified) $3.49 - "Close enough when you're hammered on Four Loko." Decorated with Sharpie veins.
>13. The Entire State of Vermont (Novelty) Won in drunken bet with senator. Now technically the largest dildo in America. Tax implications ongoing.
>14. "My Therapist Says This is a Cry for Help" (Hand-carved oak) Made during woodshop class. Smells vaguely of shame and sawdust.
>15. The Final Boss (50" inflatable) Requires bicycle pump. Last seen fully erect in backyard during hurricane, terrifying neighbors. Currently deflated and weeping quietly in garage.
>16. His Own Dick (Attached) Surprisingly not used much. Mostly just stares at it in confusion between sessions. Occasionally pats it like a suspicious package.
>17. Industrial Pipe (From Home Depot) "The warranty guy stopped returning my calls."
>18. The Concept of Fatherhood (Abstract) Jimbo screams at this one a lot.
>19. Your Mom (Borrowed) Please come pick her up, the smell is becoming a problem.
>20. The Void (Existential) Jimbo's most-used toy. Features infinite girth and eternal disappointment. Batteries not included.
Quote gave me this over fax
Here is the list:
>1. Purple Veiny Monster 12" (10cm girth) $89.99 - Glows in the dark and tastes like grape soda. Jimbo says it "melts into his intestines like warm butter."
>2. [redacted] $249.99 - So heavy it gives Jimbo hemorrhoids just looking at it. [REDACTED
>3. GlorpMaster 9000 (18" with suction cups) $199.99 - Allegedly "whispers eldritch secrets" when inserted past the 6-inch mark. Comes with free tube of "GlorpLube" which may or may not contain microplastics.
>4. Dollar Store Special (3" neon pink) $1.25 - Purchased during a "spiritual crisis." Now used exclusively for stirring his protein shakes.
>5. The Widowmaker (Custom steel 24" x 5" diameter) $599.99 - Requires notarized waiver. Last used on livestream before EMTs were called. Currently displayed in his living room like a fucking trophy.
>6. Squishy "Tentacle" Thing (???) Found in alley behind anime convention. Jimbo insists it's "alive" and "responds to praise." Fed exclusively on Mountain Dew Code Red.
>7. His Ex-Wife's Vibrator (Unremarkable) Stolen during divorce proceedings. Used exclusively for revenge masturbation while watching her LinkedIn profile.
>8. The Holy Grail (Platinum-plated 10") Auctioned by Sotheby's. Allegedly blessed by the Pope in 1987. Currently stuck in Jimbo forever after a "devotional mishap."
>9. Fleshlight Filled with Peanut Butter (Self-explanatory) Jimbo calls this "The Elvis Experience."
>10. ♠undefined♠ (Military-grade) Purchased from Darkweb. Came with instruction manual written in Russian. Jimbo woke up with unexplained ♠♠♠tattoos♠♠♠ after first use.
>11. "Woman" (Life-size silicone torso) $2,499.99 - Features "realistic wiggle physics" and built-in voicebox that just sobs quietly. Arrived in crate labeled "Fragile - Emotional Damage."
>12. Pool Noodle (Modified) $3.49 - "Close enough when you're hammered on Four Loko." Decorated with Sharpie veins.
>13. The Entire State of Vermont (Novelty) Won in drunken bet with senator. Now technically the largest dildo in America. Tax implications ongoing.
>14. "My Therapist Says This is a Cry for Help" (Hand-carved oak) Made during woodshop class. Smells vaguely of shame and sawdust.
>15. The Final Boss (50" inflatable) Requires bicycle pump. Last seen fully erect in backyard during hurricane, terrifying neighbors. Currently deflated and weeping quietly in garage.
>16. His Own Dick (Attached) Surprisingly not used much. Mostly just stares at it in confusion between sessions. Occasionally pats it like a suspicious package.
>17. Industrial Pipe (From Home Depot) "The warranty guy stopped returning my calls."
>18. The Concept of Fatherhood (Abstract) Jimbo screams at this one a lot.
>19. Your Mom (Borrowed) Please come pick her up, the smell is becoming a problem.
>20. The Void (Existential) Jimbo's most-used toy. Features infinite girth and eternal disappointment. Batteries not included.
Soyboorucux
"Beam attack!"
1 month ago#53638
I always knew jimbrap was gay
applejuice
abble jooz
1 month ago#53648
oh my god YOUR COUSINmy little cousin typed it into the 'ru (he's a little soytoddler), i'm ZO zorry jimbo!
applejuice
abble jooz
1 month ago#53652
ohhe just doesn't like jimbo cuz he approves too much trannypilled porn!Show quoted text
oh my god YOUR COUSINShow quoted text
my little cousin typed it into the 'ru (he's a little soytoddler), i'm ZO zorry jimbo!
DOCTOOOOOOOOOSmutt
DOOOOCTOOOOOOOOOOOES WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SECTION QUOTE UNDO THIS DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCTOS
5 days ago#490325
Can OP provide an updated list? I want to know.
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